By day, I’m a technologist. That’s a fancy word for “computer programmer.” I have enjoyed working on computers since I first sat down at one when I was about 8 in Mrs. Willoughby’s math class.
Not only do I spend a lot of time programming, I also spend a lot of time reading other programmer’s articles about programming. After all, I want to get better at what I do. So, I seek out people that I consider to be “experts” and read what they are doing so I can learn from them.
At this point, you probably think I’m going to draw a comparison between my seeking out knowledgeable technologists and learning from them and studying our Bibles more. While that is a pretty good example and a great topic, I have another in mind, so just stick we me.
One of the technologists I read has recently expanded his scope of interest from just computer related posts to what he calls “lifehacking.” This has to do with relationship advice, making yourself more productive, etc. I usually don’t read those posts, but the title of one caught my eye and I had to read it.
You can find it here: http://www.hanselman.com/blog/WhoIsOnYourLifesBoardOfDirectors.aspx
Although the sentiment of his article is sound (we should all have friends we can confide in and ask advice from), I felt the need to respond from a spiritual perspective.
He first talked about a mission statement for your marriage. That’s a FANTASTIC idea. I recommend the mission statement for marriage that God inspired Paul to write:
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV)
Simple and beautiful. God invented marriage, so He knows how it should work. He has a role that He wants the man to play, and a different role for the woman to play within the marriage. As long as both play the role they are intended to, everything will work out. If they don’t, it won’t. Wives, you are to submit to your husbands…I know that’s difficult, but I promise if they hold up their end, you won’t mind. Before you stop reading out of anger, please look at the next paragraph.
Husbands, your wives won’t mind submitting if you hold up your end of the bargain. If you learn nothing else from this article, please learn the next sentence. YOU ARE NOT KING OF THE HOUSE. You are leader…that means you first have to lead in Godliness, servitude, and spirituality. Jesus was our perfect example of this. He is King, yet He died for us. He is King, yet He served. We are not the strong arm of our house keeping it in submission by way of an iron fist.
“As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord.” (1 Peter 3:6 ESV)
The story is told of how one man after reading that verse declared “We need more Sarahs!” To which his preacher proclaimed, “We will have more Sarahs when we have more Abrahams!” Men, you are the examples to your family…make sure you are an Abraham.
The writer of the article also presented the idea of having a Life Board of Directors. Although I like the idea that we need people to confide in and ask advice from, I don’t really like the term “Board of Directors.” Why? Because, there should only be one person directing our lives.
“I know, O LORD, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps.” (Jeremiah 10:23 ESV)
God needs to be our only Director. When we have a problem, we need to turn to Him. So, if you want to find that group of people to help you, please do. Make sure they have your best interests at heart and are people of God. If you feel the need to give them a fancy title, may I suggest “Board of Advisers?” Or how about just “friends?”
“Peace be to you. The friends greet you. Greet the friends, each by name.” (3 John 1:15 ESV)
A mission statement for your life is also a great idea…but once again, God beat us to it:
“The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13 ESV)
I like it! It’s simple, short, and easy to remember!
So, we have our mission statement for life, our friends, our Director, and a plan for our marriage in just a few simple scriptures. Consider the other great treasure contained in the Bible that you have yet to uncover.
“I rejoice at your word like one who finds great treasure.” (Psalm 119:162)